Post ur jokes
well, thsi off-topic forum is kinda empty, so i thought id make a joke thread
heres one to get y'all started
theres a guy playing golf at a pretty nice golf course. He's a stockbroker, and his house is only a few minutes away from the golf course. Anyways, he notices a guy in a black suit and sunglasses and carrying a briefcase beside him and so he starts talking to him, and before you know it they're having a conversation. They learn interesting things about each other, like how the stockbroker likes race cars and that the guy in the black suit is Jewish. After a bit, the guy in the black suit asks him what he does for a living, and he tells him that he is a stockbroker.
"What do you do?" the stockbroker then asks him. The guy in the black suit hesitates for a second, then says in a gruff voice that he is a hitman. Of course, the stockbroker is very surprised, but he continues to ask what the hitman is holding in his briefcase, and finds out that it contains a sniper, binoculars, and an UZI. Instantly fascinated by the contents fo the briefcase, the stockbroker takes the binoculars and starts looking around, and spots his house in the near distance. He focuses on his bedroom window and says out loud:
"Hey, its my wife, and she's naked......with my neighbour!!!" The stockbroker is dumbfounded in surprise and disbelief. He stands speechless for about 10, but then looks firmly at the hitman and states without hesitation:
"I'll give you $1000 if you shoot my bitch of a wife in the head, and my neighbour in the crotch, so that bastard and can never have sex again." The hitman nods, looks around, and starts assembling his sniper at a rapid pace. Seconds later, he is lying on the floor and aiming the sniper at the bedroom window of the stockbroker's house.
5 minutes pass, and the hitman is in the same position.
"What the fuck are you waiting for?" asks the stockbroker anxiously.
"Hey, didn't I tell you man? I'm Jewish, and you know, people of our culture prefer to kill two birds with one stone."
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Two men look out of the same prison bars. One sees mud, but the other sees stars.
God put his hand on Isiah's head, and he said "Thou shalt play ball, and thou shalt play well." Isiah Thomas's father
"No blood, no autopsy, no foul."
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Dwayne Wade #3
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