This is a streetball forum, so i can only answer accordingly:
1. Dribble low to get the d (in this case ur wife) low and looking at the ball
2. With your wife looking at the ball, dribble faster, bring it up wrap it around so its at the back of her head
3. throw the ball up
4. run to the right
5. She'll follow, while she looks away, bang her from the back with a broom
6. Now scream "HA IT WASN'T SO NICE NOW WAS IT?!"


oh and to all those 13 year olds asking why not put it in the butt?? One word: HYGIENE, motherf*ckers

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